Who? Me??

My name is John Ellison. I'm a grumpy 50-something from Lancashire. If you're outside the UK, that's the bit of England that isn't Yorkshire. Although I am part Yorkshire, part Derbyshire, so I guess that I fit right in with the rest of the six-fingered, web footed Dingles.

I'm a self-taught custom painter who operates out of a draughty garage at my home just outside Burnley. It isn't ideal, but I haven't had any complaints yet, apart from the neighbours complaining about my compressor running. Fuck 'em.

I ride an Evo Harley, I like my own company, and I call a spade a shovel.

Above all though, I am fair, and I am honest -
  1. I will ALWAYS keep you updated as to the progress of your job - I will send weekly (or even daily, if I'm particularly excited about it!) updates and welcome Zoom/Teams calls if required.
  2. I will NEVER ask for money up front - everything is on me until the moment of completion.
  3. I will NEVER try to hide anything from you - if I fuck something up, I'll admit to it and put it right at my own expense.
  4. I will NEVER charge more than I feel is absolutely necessary for a job - yes, I want to make a few beer tokens out of it, but I do feel that some people charge exorbitant rates for half-arsed jobs. Not me.

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